Repeat after me: "We are all individuals ..."
Tekanji makes the point that, far from being an extreme fetish we can/should ignore, it fits in quite easily with mainstream culture:
"If you accept my premise that the fantasy of dominating powerful women is a pervasive one for men in Western culture, then it would obviously follow that (male) comic fans would have this fantasy, too. Not to mention those who write and draw these heroines. In essence, the fetish of humiliating strong women is perpetuated by the comics themselves, in turn influencing comic book readers to see it as erotic, which feeds the idea that this is what comic fans want... lather, rinse, repeat until you have these themes becoming codified into mainstream thought."
This got me thinking on a topic that's been rolling around in my head for quite a while. Superheroine's Demise is not an anomaly, but rather part of a pattern (of androcentric desire that sexualizes the domination of women's power). It is not, by far, the only expression of this form of misogyny. So is it fair to make it the target of our blame or outrage? I don't think so. That's not what I'm doing, and I don't believe that's what Tekanji's doing.
Superheroine's Demise is an example. Without the pattern of misogyny, it wouldn't be worth much attention. I'm wondering if, without that pattern, it would even be acceptable.
Here's the train of thought brings me to that point: My major issue with the ways in which we construct sexuality mainstream culture is that it's predicated on a hierarchy of power. Domination is sexy, and therefore sex is about domination. Add in our system of misogyny in which men do/should hold the power, and this means that sex is about male domination and female submission. As a result, things that reproduce this hierarchy - like Superheroine's Demise or other pornography based on dominating women - are problematic because they contribute to the maintenance of the hierarchy.
But there are a lot of things that reproduce hierarchies of power which similarly hold up the status quo. Traditional heterosexuality, for one thing. Men have long been accustomed to women being accessible, objectifiable, and controllable. Heterosexuality as it is currently practiced (dating and marriage, etc.) doesn't challenge that history.
And yet I don't want to vilify heterosexuality or keep people from practicing it. (Obviously, that would make things somewhat difficult for me as a heterosexual person.) But I can't pretend that, in many ways, being heterosexual does less to disrupt the sexist status quo than being queer does.
Example #2: I'm a Chinese woman dating a white man. I'm not going to pretend that this doesn't reinforce stereotypes about Asian sexuality - that Asian men are undesirable; that Asian women are sexually available to white men. Hell, the fact that I'm introverted and appear unassertive in public means that, for people who don't know us, stereotypes about Asian women being submissive and pliant partners for white men go unchallenged.
The fact that I'm introverted also contributes to the dominant view of Asians in general. I'm also a good student, and was even a math whiz in high school. The way I act can be used to feed many stereotypes about Asians.
The list goes on: women who choose to be housewives, or follow conventional fashion, or are sexually submissive, etc., all fit in to stereotypes that are more or less tied to the status quo of sexism.
I don't advocate chucking these behaviors out the window, though. For one thing, that isn't feasible if we're trying to make feminism a popular movement. For another thing ... no. I refuse to deny an individual's choice simply because it fits a pattern that developed over a history that was out of that individual's control. Choices, and the desires behind them, can't just be replaced. I can't just pretend that my personality is different, that I'm actually outgoing and aggressive. I can't somehow make myself gay. I can't negate the desires and tendencies I have, just so I can say that I'm rebelling against sexism.
On the other hand, I can (and should) acknowledge that these choices do fit into the mainstream, and that they were undoubtedly influenced by the mainstream. No man is an island: none of us, no matter how independent, sprung forth fully formed and developed impervious to social and cultural forces. Even if we rebel against everything in sight - well, something needed to be there for us to rebel against. We didn't decide on our likes and dislikes, what we find appealing or sexy or enjoyable, in the vaccuum of space. I'm not saying that society created us on its own - I'm saying that whatever was naturally in us was shaped by the world we developed in.
So, yes, my introversion is my own personality - but it was probably encouraged by the ways in which people viewed me and responded to me as a female and an Asian. My choices about fashion come from my own aesthetic sense, but develop with/against what the rest of the world thinks is attractive. The fact that I have only dated white guys, despite the fact that the racial makeup of the people around me has always been white and yellow, is probably influenced by the ways in which Asian men have been portrayed as undesireable and asexual.
However! I'm not going to reject these things, or try to erase them. I won't change who I, myself, have become. Yes, if the world were different, I might have dated Asian men in the past - but it's not like I somehow wouldn't love my boyfriend now, or he would be replaced by a yellow dude. You can't replace individuals. To some extent, you can't replace individual choices, either.
The best thing I can do is to be aware of the ways in which I am shaped by sexism, racism, etc., and the ways in which I contribute to them. It would be irresponsible to deny these forces, either in myself or in others.
With that knowledge, I might decide that I am not particularly tied to some of my choices, and that they are worth changing. For example, I used to think that humor based in sexism was funny - but decided a long time ago that this wasn't an important or unchangeable part of my identity, and that I gained a greater benefit by getting rid of it so I could reject sexism in that manner. I've become less invested in stereotypical femininity than I used to be. I've acknowledged the attractiveness of women, which homophobia and misogyny told me that a straight woman shouldn't do.
To bring it back to the beginning ... Superheroine's Demise, and the people who hold that fetish, are individuals. I won't tell an individual to change who he is, or the individual choices he makes. I will not even wholly condemn him, because he is not completely, or exclusively, guilty. All of us are at least partially culpable in maintaining sexism. Yes, this case is worse than others, but it isn't the sole villain among innocents.
I will, however, continue to (vocally) expose the sexism beneath practices such as these, so that people will learn about it. And I will continue to believe that people have a responsibility to educate themselves when they are presented with the opportunity. Unquestionable acceptance of misogyny is inexcusable - especially when you're given the chance to enlighten yourself.
If that's your kink, then that's your kink. Just be honest about what that means.